Thoughts from the Mountain Top.
Saturday was a great day! The weather has been unseasonably warm during the day lately, so I got out of bed early (Well... earlier than I might otherwise have gotten up on a weekend) and decided to take a drive away from town. Soon the snow will fly, maybe even this week, and I figured this was going to be my last chance to get up into the mountains until spring thaw.
Garden Creek Gap casts a distinctive shadow on Marsh Valley to the east.
Having no solid plans or thoughts about exactly where I wanted to go, I just drove and let the vehicle decide which way I should turn. I found myself drawn to the Garden Creek Gap. No... this gap isn't a trendy store where you buy overpriced khakis and cargo pants, but rather a large notch cut through the south side of the Bannock Mountain Range, and happens to be one of my all time favorite places in the world. Its quite a dramatic site, with cliffs rising 500 to 600 feet on both sides as you drive through on its narrow road.
For rock climbers its the closest thing we have locally to El Capitan in Yosemite. I, myself, do not in any way, consider myself any kind of a real rock climber, however a good portion of my childhood was spent exploring and identifying the best ways to climb to the top. I couldn't count the number of bruises or cuts I've received in the half-light of the Gap's walls, nor could I tell you how many rattlesnakes I've nearly stepped on. Fortunately, it was a little cold for snakes yesterday, so, carefully I followed one of the safer paths to the top.
I'm not sure why, but looking out from the top made me think about my dad. We lost him unexpectedly not long ago, and it seems my mind has hardly grasped the unbelievable truth that I'll have to live the rest of my life without him. My feelings were again set off yesterday evening reading a post from Just about his son's thirteenth birthday. I could really feel his fatherly love radiate through his blog for his son. It gave me a lump in my throat, as I began to hope my own father maybe felt the same about me. We had our share of problems. He could be verbally abusive and dismissive to a lot of the people in his life. I caught a lot of the flack for not backing down, and defending the others who earned his wrath. Still, now that he's gone, I desperately want to think that he felt a core of the same love toward me that Just expressed in his blog for his son.
You don't have to read very many blogs before you see that many gay and bi youth have severe father problems. It makes me think children would be better off with a gay father who can express his feelings, as opposed to a straight one who can't.
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Beautiful Pictures all of them, wish I had your artistic ability -at least at my disposal to use and abuse- and I noticed you skipped that which you wrote first time you wrote about going to the mountains -as in releasing some stress-.
About your dad, I´m so sorry you lost him, but the last thing he did was bring you home and to me. I know he loves you and used to feel so proud of you, if he could only see you know I´m absolutely sure he´d love you just as you are. You know I´m here whenever you need me to talk.
Love you, and I´m not the only one.
Me
Wonderful pics! Be careful of those rattlesnakes though!!
I'm sure your dad loved you. It's perfectly normal for there to be tension between a person and his parents, but I'm sure he cared very much for you.
I miss talking to ya. We should chat again soon. :-)
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Beautiful pictures I know how you feelabout getting out in your favorite place I had a post about that not so long ago on my blog. Parents sometimes sucks I know mine did go back on my blog it explains alot about parents and grandparents. I know your story is a little differnt than mine but I believe he loved you.
Looks like it was just a spectacular weekend to be outside no matter where you live in the country! I spent the weekend away from the computer and playing outside with my kids - we climbed a large dirt mound that was not nearly as impressive as your mountain hike!
to the mountains we go, to the mountains we go. i am glad u had a nice hike and a relaxing time. please don't be stubborn and careless when u're on your own.
Sorry I miss this post but as you know am dealing with my issues. But I wanted to let you know David. Even though you Dad didn't get to tell you or express it .. I have no doubts at all that he love you the way I love my son.
Some generations it just wasn't or allowed to express this , my own father didn't until about ten years ago ... hence is why I let my son know every chance I get. I want you to know as a father I know you Dad share my feelings. that I have for my son to you . I am truly sorry he didn't get to or know how to show them before he left this. world.But know he did , I hope some day you get to experience this and you will have no doubts any more after that . Thanks for this post and sharing you don't know how much it help. Thanks for being there my friend Love Just